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งานปี 2010 จ้า เอาภาษาอังกฤษมาด้วย
credit thanks for translation : mookie ( Hyunbin thread@ soompi )
When I first met you, it felt like a Christmas present I've never expected. You are a most touching gift, beyond all expression, every word in any language that I know, can describe. 8 years ago, when I were still not used to the name 'Hyun Bin' you called me by it in the midst of the crowd. Two words, that warmed my heart. And, I still can't forget that instant to this day, the moment you smiled at me. It made me feel like the world, its everything is mine, just like that, we met. I'm no longer alone, we have become friends. In the beginning, we are both too shy to look at each other in the eye. I have no confidence in what I could do to make you love me. But in this 8 years, you've accepted the unadorned me. You've been paying attention to me without fanfare, calling me 'your actor'. Since the time we've met, we've spent 31 seasons together. (referring to the almost 8 yrs as an actor) There are times when you would not hesitate to give me the harshest criticisms. Often, you would express you love for me in tears. Because of your love, I've grown to be a stronger actor. I've learned to be happy. Although the 8 years we've been together is not too long, every moment is bliss.
If I continue the path of an actor, I can not be sure when hurdles will hit me. To lessen my hurt, you've given me the love that is much potent than any pain that will come my way in the future. The best blessing living as Hyun Bin is to meet you. Out of everyone populating this world, thank you for being by my side. You have faith that being actor is my calling. I would be very honored if I can be the actor you aspired me to be.
There is a female writer, she would write through the night, dozed off on her husband's desk. Her husband will be the first reader of what she wrote every morning. If I have only one page left in my work, I would love for you to be its first audience. In the world I would create, I wish you would be its first occupant.
'Look at me only, only listen to me...' these are very selfish thoughts. Our love is hard, but through you, I can be certain, the many sleepless nights I've had, when I'm frustrated with my acting, you are there to take it all in. Just like the interference in a recording. My every move and sound, you would pay undivided attention to them. Because of what you are doing, I can feel you by my side all the time. Putting me first and foremost before many things in your life. Even when you are weary, or hurt... you would, without hesitation, show me your love, unfaltering, staying where you are, waiting for me. Instead of nitpicking critiques, you'll give me warm sheltering hugs with your love. Not with words of flattering, but every beat from the bottom of your heart. Instead of looking for my flaws, you'll comfort me with what I've done well. You will pick me up with your smiles. You are, of such an existence to me. And, as good as you are already, today, this moment, you made it better by being in front of my eyes.
We said, love is expressed through action, but because of how shy I am, there are emotions I've kept, built up in me, with me as I'm journeying through my ignorant 20s. I'm truly grateful. That deep deep love you have, you can give it to anyone, but you showered it on me instead. I'm truly grateful. You didn't ask for anything back, you just give me your love, this is the hardest thing. Since I'm fully aware of it, every time I receive your love, I'm very moved. Today, I can be an actor 'Hyun Bin', the strongest, most beautiful motivation is from all of you, in front of me. In this wide world, here on this planet, you and I crossed our paths. I'm most happy and blessed with you by my side. Thank you for coming to me, be by my side.
TV drama is a fantasy to me. After the camera rolled, I can not live as the character in the story anymore. But every single one of them are still with me in my heart. KangKook who has a warm, loving soul, JinHyun who overcome his trauma in love, JiOh who is torn between love and work... all these characters are ingrained in me, they are all part of my life. I've been living my life between the world in dramas and reality. One day, a thought hit me, the real world I'm living in is harsher and more cruel than the drama world. The lines can not be rehashed, every word is an imprint that is unprecedented and irreversible. When I look back, I know I'm very fortunate. I have worked on great projects, with brilliant crews, and I have you. I've never experienced a setback that I can not pick myself up from. But, there must be times, this enormous love can be burdening, it's not a pain that's deep, but there is a bitterness to the sweetness. Although you are hugging me with your love, there must be times you want to give up.
There are times, after I've said it, I immediately regret. Although it is impossible to give you a satisfying answer, but the small regret will fester bit by bit even though it's something I want to say/do and therefore I did. It may be a decision that is made for someone in mind at the spur of the moment. What you expected from me, and what I want to do, cohabit a cramped space in my heart. I've given up a lot of things in life for this career, but is this the best decision? This is a question that I can't stop thinking. With that in mind, I've thought of giving this all up. I can feel my insignificance.
I'm torn between what I want to do, and what I should do, from an ordinary boy, I've become a man with the label 'actor' attached. Although it comes by gradually, naturally, but often there are moments of difficulty I've been struggling through. 'Is my acting any good?' 'Is this good enough?' 'Is the world I'm in, a place I can be happy?'
When I am not sure what I want, 'Am I stuck in a runt?' 'Is there a path for me?' I was looking for answers, but I was clueless.
There are things in life that we should never give up no matter how hard, acting seems to be that for me. Even in the instant when I want to give it up, the passion and hard work I have put in brings back many fond memories, it makes me want to try a new role again, create a new character as Hyun Bin. I thought to myself, I must treasure and enjoy everything you've given me, as I've grown through my 20s like one smoldering summer. With this thought, even though there are long periods I have to spend apart from you, it's not time wasted. I believe we'll be closer, through a stronger bond. Therefore, don't be sad, don't have regrets. Today passes by too fast, but I can be with you, and share my thoughts with you, and laugh with you, every moment is happiness. Tomorrow, when I wake up from my dreams, I will think of every precious minute, every second we've spent together. I will have a good time reliving, even if it's only a memory by then. What I'll treasure in my memory is not only what I see in front of me, in my memory, I'll remember how happy I am inside because of your love. If I can make you happy, as just a guy like me, I will be very happy. I want to be the guy who, when you are sad, you want to see me; when you are happy, you can share with me in your thoughts; when you are in pain, I can be some comfort to you. Because of this, because of you, I must concentrate and give my all, trying my best in my acting. From the moment we are apart, I will try my very best to strive. Even though we have to say goodbye today, when we meet again, I'll be a better actor, I'll make you smile even brighter. Therefore, please stay as healthy and happy as today just as I am and I would be. And from now on, paint, stroke by stroke what our next meeting will be like, silently in your mind. You are very important to me. Thank you for making me a happy actor. And last but not least, I love you.
จากคุณ |
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honeybinnie
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เขียนเมื่อ |
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7 มี.ค. 54 10:34:12
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