ความคิดเห็นที่ 80
hard to say....... it's family issue......
To K. Sami,
I'm a girl, 25 years old, married with American - no kid - not rich -not poor - just ordinary people.Oh , and I'm not a khun-nai :P
I appreciate that you understand and love your wife's family. I'm sure your wife is greatful about that too.
Someone above mentioned "Esan's way of life" I don't know what to say. It might not be Esan's way of life, but there are so many many cases just like yours going on in Esan society - but not all! I don't know if it's bad or good.
I am an Esan girl too. i do support my family. Luckily i don't have a drunken brother and my parents are happy without a car. All my 3 sisters, they are not college graduated, but they don't mind to work hard and save money. They are doing well, don't even need my help! Because of their hard working and spending wisely, my husband and I do offer help at times, coz we appreciate they way they lead their life. Besides, if they were like those people who know only how to ask money, I will not give them any. Why? because in that case, if you give 100, next time they will want 500, and if you give them later on they will ask 1000 and even more...........
About your issue, me, as an outsider, can't really give you the right advice. but one thing I know for face is that if your keep giving them, they will keep asking, forever.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should stop helping them. but i'm saying you should make it clear "how" "how much" "when or until when" you will be able to help. If you can't change them to get up and help themselves, give them the limited amount of money that you can, certain amount, certain time. Never give more than that. eg. send them 5000 bath on the 5th of everymonth. What if they ask again at the middle of the month? If I were you, i would tell them to go out to work and wait for next month. This way you might be able to manage your life better.
As I said, if you keep giving, they will always expect. Why work when you have someone to ask and always get it, right????
To K. wife,
Sorry na kha that i suggest your husband like that. But from what he wrote, he is in a very uneasy situation kha. The point now is not that he doesn't understand the culture or way of life na kha. He seems to understand pretty well.
"Help to me however isn't paying for everything while the money made in Thailand is blown on a playboy brother and whiskey. It makes me agry when the refrigerator goes out and they don't have the money to pay for it even though we have given a lot of money over 1,000,000 baht to our Thai family ovr the past 18 months."
^ ^ จากตรงนี้ ดิฉันเป็นคนนอก ยังรู้สึกกระอักกระอ่วน แล้วคุณภรรยาเค้าเองแท้ๆ ไม่รู้ว่าสามีรู้สึกยังไงบ้างเลยหรือคะ หรือแคร์แค่ว่าเดือนนี้เค้าจะส่งให้เท่าไหร่???
อย่าให้เค้ามองว่าเรางอมืองอเท้า ขอข้าวเค้ากินสิคะ
ขอโทษนะคะที่พูดตรงไป แต่ก็น่าเห็นใจสามีคุณจริงๆนะ
จากคุณ :
Daysie
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วันเนา (14) 06:48:09
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