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    It is the end of our relationship (Because bloody Ph.D)

    I can't type Thai from my office (Sorry)
    I am currently a PhD candidate in Economics dep.
    at Waikato Management School, Hamilton, NZ.
    I have been here for 10 months and to be honest, it is hell.
    24 hours is too short to stay in this bloody Ph.D world.
    Wake up at 6 AM, breakfast, drive to office, lunch, stay till 6 PM,
    dinner, research again and again. It has been like this for the whole 10 months.
    I have a girlfriend in Thailand, we met in Australia.
    We are about to get married after i finish my Ph.D Before i fly here,
    her family asked me that "Why do you want to do PhD?
    You already have a great job, great salary, Why do you want to quit
    and spend time with bloody education for another 3-4 years?"
    My answer was ........ nothing but silence. To do PhD, it is my dream.
    I don't know how to explain my feeling on the day that i received
    an offer of place from Uni. Here my story begins,
    we have had arguments from the very first month when i arrived here,
    and it has been like this ........ continuously.
    I don't have time for her, not even for myself. "I am a Ph.D slave".
    I have used my brain too much, can't eat, can't sleep, i have lost 7 kgs.
    I have been totally changed from optimistic to pesismistic person.
    I have tried to treat her as best as i could. I call her every day,
    text her every morning. Talk to her nicely but i
    have become such an idiot emotional person, very easy to
    get angry, too much stress .... Now i realize that to do Ph.D
    has to sacrifice one of the most important thing in my life.
    My girlfriend called me this morning and asked me.

    "I want to break up with you"

    i totally had nothing to say, no tear, nothing. ..............................
    .............................. don't really know what to explain for now.
    I don't know that it is worth doing Ph.D or not Why do i need to do Ph.D?
    What for? Marriage is one of my plan but now it is gone .... forever.
    I would like her to put her foot in my shoe.
    Crying doesn't help but to be honest i don't know what should i do now ...
    Meeting with my supervisors tomorrow, nothing to show,
    nothing to present ... Deadline is the end of this month ......
    I can't find any light at the longest tunnel in my life, no hope, nothing ....
    close your eye and you will fell my feeling ...............
    sorry to write down supid comment in this webboard
    but i think that this is the only one place that i could express
    my feeling to the right group of people.

    Sorry / San

    จากคุณ : saninhamilton - [ 22 มี.ค. 50 09:23:12 ]

 
 


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