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*** ช่วยตรวจ Essay ให้หน่อยนะคะ ***
เป็น Essay TOEFL แรกที่หัดเขียนค่ะ คำศัพท์ที่ใช้ค่อนข้างพื้นๆ แต่มีความจำเป็นต้องสอบเสาร์นี้แล้ว รบกวนช่วยแก้ไขหรือติชมด้วยนะคะ จะได้นำไปพัฒนาต่อไป
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful.
Of course, people who earn lots of money are successful. They can buy everything they want such as high technology machines, handsome cars, expensive jewelry and so on which make them superior life. However, I have some opinions contrast this statement as following.
First of all, people who succeed in their life have to dedicate most of their energy, their time, even their high responsibility a lot with hard working at office. On the other hand, people who spend almost time with their warm family. They have happinesses with teaching homework to their children, taking trip with their relative, playing sport with their co-workers, shopping with their close friends. If all of them earn a little money, I will call them as the successful people also.
Secondly, some people have little happiness with helping other people such as a fireman, a rural medician, a rescue worker and more. These people get little hire from some charitible organizations but they proud in their career so I can not deny that they are successive people.
Last but not least, Some people such as sportmen. They are representative of our country to compete sport game. For instance, Olimpic Game, if they can win this competition, they will succeed in their sport career regardless earning a lot of money.
In short, I disagree with the statement that only people who earn a lot of money are successful as I mentioned above.
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จากคุณ :
Beedel  
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13 ส.ค. 51 18:17:10
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