The following happened in August 2000 and this is how I reported to the story to one of the more popular Thailand message boards....
A friend of mine here in Bangkok, a farang, has had a lot of luck meeting Thai ladies on the Internet. He has been raving to me about it as the new and easy way to meet the lovely locals. As one who likes to try something new, this sounded like it could be something interesting.... I have been juggling a couple of Thai girls recently but on the other night I was free to my own devices so what better time than to start hunting chat rooms in a search for the perfect “Miss Thai Internet”.
I got chatting with a few ladies but there was one girl who really caught my attention, a girl who seemed very chatty and chirpy and not all withdrawn and reserved like your typical wealthy Thai girl. Her name was A, she was 26, a financial consultant and as she had spent time in Australia, her English was pretty damned good. We traded pictures on the net with me cautious to ensure that I sent her an old and somewhat blurry picture. The picture that she sent me was not stunning, but certainly attractive enough. We chatted about various things over the course of a couple of hours and had fun. She said to me that she had the next day off so I thought what the hell, I’ll invite her out. Expecting to get a polite no, I was delighted when she said that she would love to go out with me. I asked her if she liked Italian as I knew a nice little Italian restaurant and she said great! It was set! 7:30 PM Monday, meeting at the Siam Center. We exchanged phone numbers and she called me. Ahhh, the sweetness of the Thai female voice, so soft and demure...I’m just about in love...OK, well, maybe not, but I’m sure as hell excited!
The next day and the time is drawing near. So, on with one’s best threads, out with the decent after shave and The Stickman is looking as good as he can make himself look. She called again, at the Phyathai Station, 5 minutes away.... Shit, better get out the door and over to the Siam Center... Don’t walk too fast otherwise I’ll get all hot and sweaty and we know how Thai girls don’t like that.
As I pass by the Siam Discovery Center, I see Whosyourdaddy coming out and with his daily shopping. We stop and chat briefly but he senses my impatience and allows me to go on my way.
I stride into the Siam Center and can’t see her. No problem, I’ll take a seat and wait – she can’t be very far away at all. I notice a figure moving in my direction and at that very moment she waves in my direction, I know it’s her... The moment of truth, there she is and she is shuffling over this way.... That’s a funny walk? What’s going on here? She’s getting nearer. Something’s not right... I’ve got a bad feeling. I feel my adrenal gland give me a shot of adrenaline...I need it. I need it badly. The hairs on the Stickman’s back rise and suddenly, he knows he has done something terribly wrong. She bounds over in a most confident manner, unlike the usual feminine grace that we associate with most Thai ladies. Something’s wrong but what is it.... That walk, those hands, that chest – look at the size of it – it’s not real! The hard jaw line – it’s a guy! A katoey! Holy shit! I’m outta here and with that I made a fast, exit.
There was no real disappointment, more a sense of relief that I managed to exit out of the situation quickly. I ran to the sky train and took the first train down to Soi Cowboy where I proceeded to drink myself silly and quickly forgot about the whole incident.
So, the moral of this story....be bloody careful when meeting “folks” on the internet because for me, it was one big disaster! You could do a lot better and one of my friends has done extremely well BUT you need to be very careful. This creature called me and I swear, there is no way in the world I would have picked up that it was a guy, no way – the voice was so feminine. And the picture that he sent did not look like a guy at all....
The joys of life in Thailand...
Update December 2000: There is a somewhat nicer ending to all of this katoey nonsense that I had to suffer. In December 2000, a Thai girl approached me on the net and after that previous experience, my guard was up, to say the least. We chatted about this and that and in the same day, she said that she wanted to meet me - that very day. After I insisted she send a few photos to me and I used the zoom feature on several photo programmes searching for big hands, a voice box, wide jaw - all the characteristics of a katoey, I deemed that she was indeed a girl, and was therefore "safe" to meet. Went on to meet her and we had a great time...
kiki de terre
26 ต.ค. 51 20:02:37
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