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ขอตั้งบ้างค่ะ ช่วยวิจารณ์ paper หน่อยค่ะ  

เป็น research paper วิชาภาษาอังกฤษค่ะ
อันนี้เป็น draft แรก
จริงๆ ที่เขียนนี่ได้ 7 หน้าแล้ว (รวมตาราง 2 ตาราง)
ต้องการอีก 1 หน้า ถึง 1 หน้าครึ่ง แต่ไม่รู้ว่าจะเขียนอะไรเพิ่มดี
ตอนนี้กำลังหาประเด็นพูดเพิ่มอยู่
ประเด็นเรื่อง getting boys involve ไม่ทราบว่ามันเข้ากันหรือเปล่า ควรตัดออกหรือเก็บไว้ดีคะ
ประเด็นอื่นๆ ก็ขอคำแนะนำตามที่เห็นสมควรค่ะ

ขอบคุณล่วงหน้าอย่างมากเลยค่ะ

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Topic: The Ineffectiveness of Current Sex Education in the United States

The United States of America ranks the highest in teen pregnancy and birth among developed countries. Our teen sexual health and attitude are somehow in crisis. The country realized the matter and has developed many strategies in response to these conditions. One of the most important approaches to the problem is the government sex education policy.

Focus on sex education, most schools in the United States usually begin sex education between grade 7 and 12, according to the study of the Alan Guttmacher Institute (AGI). Sex education curricula vary between states. There are two major forms of sex education curricula used in the United States at the moment; comprehensive and abstinence-only. The comprehensive sex education is a combination of educating students about contraceptives, including other forms of birth control, along with the abstinence encouragement; also known as ‘abstinence-plus’ (Kaiser, 2002). Whereas the abstinence-only mainly encourages teens to avoid having sexual intercourse before marriage, and avoids discussing any kind of contraceptive usage or sexual disease prevention.

A survey conducted by the Kaiser Family foundation shows that 58% of secondary schools in the United States use comprehensive curricula in their school, while 34% indicates the use of abstinence-only (Kaiser, 2002). We can say the schools that use comprehensive approach are the majority. Yet, there was also a piece of survey from the AGI states that there is a large gap between what teachers believe should be covered in comprehensive method, and what they actually able to teach (2006). The same research also indicates that government promotes the abstinence-only method for teens. The total funding for three abstinence-only educational programs in 2006 is 176 million dollars.

According to the AGI, the overall number of American teens aged 15 to 17 who had ever engaged in sexual intercourse decreased ten percent between 1995 and 2002. Likewise, the pregnancy rate of American teens also expresses the downward trend in the same consecutive periods. Such trend continued until 2005. In that particular year, there was another research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) stated that, after 15 years of dropping, teens birthrate slightly rose 1.4 percent between 2005 to 2006, and 3.4 percent from 2006 to 2007 (CDC, 2009).

The statistics also show the significantly higher rate of the sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) among American teens than other developed countries such as Canada and many Western European countries. Although we cannot say that the two years of rising clearly emerges a new trend, we must say that it does emerge a warning toward the society on our overall teen sexual health if this continues to rise.

To this extent, we might be able to say that there is a downward of American sex education system occurring, emphasizing the abstinence-only approach over the comprehensive.

The possible explanation to such hypothesis varies. The United States government has funded the programs on sex education since early 1980’s (Kaiser, 2002). The AGI indicates that, later in the past decade, the funding has been mainly on abstinence-only programs more than it used to be in the 1980’s. Also, there has been a ‘shift in formal sex education’ showing the decrease in proportion of teens receiving information about birth control--comprehensive sex education--comparing to the rising of abstinence-only sex education between 1995 and 2002 (AGI, 2006), which is possibly be a factor that results in the rising of teen pregnancy and birthrate trends between 2005 and 2007.

Also, the different practices between states can be used to explain the trend. According to the research of the Kaiser Family Foundation in 2002, “22 states require that students receive sex education and 39 requires HIV/STD instruction.” Also, 34 states that have the sex education in their curricula require the official parents consent to be able to put students in such curriculum.

However, many problems in abstinence-only program have been raised in many literatures as mentioned in Teen Health section of about.com. First, as mentioned earlier, the abstinence-only approach focuses on the importance of not having sexual intercourse before marriage, as well as the value of virginity. The avoiding of discussing the use of contraceptive and the ways to prevent STDs are major flaws of this method. It might help in reducing the risk on teen sex behavior, yet it is not necessarily effective. Unavoidably, some teens who are in abstinence-only curriculum still continue to have sex. Their sex is more vulnerable because of the lack of knowledge in sexual disease prevention and contraceptives usage. In the Kaiser Family Foundation 2002 research, five states are demonstrated as funded by the government for the abstinence-only sex education; Florida, Mississippi, South Carolina, Virginia, and Wisconsin. Impressively, three of such states rank relatively high nationwide according to the AGI’s latest survey in 2000; with Mississippi ranks the 1st in birthrate and the 3rd in pregnancy rate, Florida ranks the 16th in birthrate and 6th in pregnancy rate, and South Carolina 12th in birthrate and 16th in pregnancy rate. However, none statistics concerning the STDs can be found.

The contraceptive usage and STDs prevention education in the comprehensive sex education are ones of the most concerns of many parents and society. Mainly, it is because of the lack of knowledge to discuss sex issue with youth. Although there are many concerns that teaching teens how to use contraceptives might encourage teens to get involve in early sexual intercourse more easily. The research “gives strong support to the conclusion that providing information about contraception does not increase adolescent sexual activity, either by hastening the onset of sexual intercourse, increasing the frequency of sexual intercourse, or increasing the number of sexual partners” (Kaiser, 2002).

Rather than focusing on sex education alone, many research show that parents’ influences on teens are also important to teens pregnancy and birthrates, consider that in many states, parents are the ones who make the decision on putting or not putting their teens in sex education curriculum. The research shows that 61 percent of teenagers seek sexual information from their peers, only 32 percent from their parents. However, 43 percent of teenagers want to know how to discuss more about sex and relationships with their parents. The survey shows an impressive result that nearly 80 percent of teenagers who discuss the matter with their parents tend to be influenced by what their parents has told them about sex. Teens and adolescents from a more stable family which has strong intra-relationship between family members tend to seek less intimate relationship outside marriage than those in poor-bond families, which could possibly lead to an unwanted pregnancy, early sexual intercourse and other sexual transmitted diseases (National Association of Social Workers, 2001).

Most sex education programs focuses more on girls. This is also another gender inequality issue. The statistics from the National Vital Statistics System (NVSS) shown that 86 percent of births to teenagers in 2007 are out of wedlock (CDC, 2009), which means there are more girls who become a single mother at a very young age.

Due to the gender role, girls take more negative impact on almost every aspect. Unintended pregnancy often ends in either abortion or child-baring out of wedlock. Most responsible goes to the girls or to the girls’ family. The NASW also suggests that it would be better if we can get the boys involved by helping them to establish healthy relationships and create mutual respect to their partners.

Our pregnancy, teen birthrate and the STDs rates are considerably very high compared to other developed countries. Overall, American sex education had shown steady sign of effectiveness over the past decades. Thus, the slightly increasing of pregnancy and birthrate from 2005 to 2007 indicates a possible change of the trend. The U.S. government focus more on the abstinence-only sex education rather than comprehensive or abstinence-plus. This could be a factor to such change. Study shows that comprehensive education approach has no negative effects on teen sexual behavior. Such approach toward sex education should be considered emphasizing on more. Also, being able to talk openly about sex makes it less vulnerable and creates mutual responsible to both male and female teens.

edit: typo
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แก้ไขเมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 52 05:19:10

แก้ไขเมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 52 05:11:25

แก้ไขเมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 52 04:28:44

จากคุณ : crazyfantasy
เขียนเมื่อ : 22 ธ.ค. 52 04:17:56




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