I have been practicing writing every single week for the last three months, but still, I make lots of mistakes every single time. It seem like my skill improve very slow. Do you have any suggestion on how should I do or what is the right way to improve my skill. What I have to work on(grammar, contect, critical thinking) and how? Thanks again for helping me. I'm really appreciate all your helps.
Topic: If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Fifty years ago, there was a town called “Tangkwian,” a small village in the far east of Thailand. It was so small that everybody knew each other well as they were in the same family. Time goes by, everything has changed so much that you may not believe that “Muangklaeng Town” was once surrounded by woods. Now, The town is considered one of the best places for summer vacation. It is just fifteen kilometers from Laemaepim beach; and there is all sorts of places—shopping centers, restaurants, theaters, and pubs—to satisty every need of travelers. However, that is not what I want my hometown to be. I want to change my town back to what it was fifty years ago because there are something wrong going on in the town: people's selfishness, bad effects of the shopping center, and pollutions.
Firstly, people in my town today are selfish and care nothing but themselves. My mother told me that when she was a child, people were so close together as they were one family. They shared and exchanged things instead of buying them. And people were so generous about helping others. Unfortunately, I will never have a chance to see that. Sharing and helping are rare today. Most people put so much emphasis on money that they would do anything for it. There are thieves and burglars everywhere. And many sellers do cheat on their customers whenever they can.
Secondly, the existing of shopping center has big effects on retail stores and small businesses in town. Shopping center includes everything in one place and it sells goods in a lower price compare to smaller stores. This results in a slow down in small store and businesses. And soon, stores that could not compete with the shopping center would have to close itself down; this may lead to many social problems such as unemployment and robbery. Not to mention that, in the near future, the shopping center will become a monopoly that control prices of all goods in the area.
Thirdly, the town is very polluted because of the new-arrivals. The population of my hometown has increased greatly. The more newcomers arrive, the more polluted the town is. Cars and motorcycles make a lot of noises that disturb people in the area especially the elderly. The river has been contaminated and can no longer be use because people seflishly dump household waste and dirty water into it. In addition, the old woods have been cut down for building residences. A villege that once was surrounded by trees is now filled with houses and stores resulting in a hot weather and polluted air.
In conclusion, if there is one important thing I could change about my hometown, I would change it back to fifty years ago when people were more generous; there were less problems; and the environment was better. However, it is quite unrealistic to travel backward to the past. The best thing I can do is probably start changing myself by being more generous to people, causing no trouble, and protecting the remaining trees. Then, by seeing my examples, people will realize the problems we are facing and try to start to change themselves, and our beloved town.
>>>Thank you<<<
จากคุณ :
t_nattawat 
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23 ม.ค. 51 18:03:14
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Please lookthrough this essay and make a comment. Thank you for your helps.
