 |
Let's Face It. English Is a Stupid Language.
|
|
I found it on the Internet some time ago. I couldn't remember the source.
-------------------------------------------------------
There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn't the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all.)
That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.
Some more:
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a
person who drives a race car not called a racist?
A wise man is wise indeed. What about a wise guy?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make
terrible?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons
debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?
| จากคุณ |
:
Azure_Mile 
|
| เขียนเมื่อ |
:
13 พ.ค. 53 19:41:51
|
|
|
| |
