รบกวนตรวจ essay หน่อยค้าาา (อีกแล้ว)
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จากกระทู้ที่แล้ว พยายามปรับแล้วค่ะ เนื้อหาตัดที่เพ้อฝันออกไป แต่แกรมม่าในเวลาอันสั้นนี้คิดว่าคงไม่มีอะไรดีขึ้นจากเดิม ^^' เพราะใกล้ถึงกำหนดส่งแล้ว
รบกวนช่วยตรวจหน่อยค่ะ ใครก็ได้ เป็น essay ขอทุนเรียนภาษาอังกฤษ ลองส่งดู ถ้าหากช่วยปรับประโยคอยากให้เป็นง่ายๆ ระดับที่อย่างเราน่าจะใช้ได้น่ะค่ะ กลัวมันดูเทพเกินจริง แหะๆ
เรื่องวิจารย์และแนะนำ เชิญยำเลยค่ะ ได้โปรดยำด้วย อยากนำไปแก้ไขจริงๆ อยากรู้จุดบกพร่อง อยากมีแรงผลักดันที่จะเรียนรู้ด้วย ^^' ขอบคุณมากกจากใจนะคะ สำหรับคนที่จะเข้ามาตอบ ตอนนี้หาคนรอบตัวช่วยลำบากมากน้ำท่วมค่ะ -/\-'
I always be the one who think difference from others. Because I don't like being involved in majority. My opinion are all brought up with fresh ideas, based upon my own perspective and moral.
I live my life searching for new things, challenge myself with every crazy adventures without being hesitated by the feminine limitations. I began to realized later, my personality links to my creative talents, I am born an artist.
My brother has a big impact on my view of the whole world.He is genuinely a good human. The goal of his study is to valued society, to make a difference and to give education to people who are in poverty. Actually, He do every kind of good deeds that help others.Like an almoner, His magnificent effort proves of cleaning this dirty society is not too far to be true. By being impressed of his charity, I was led into a world that surrounded by people who sincerely dedicate to others. Faith and religious commitment are the reasons of their extraordinary great.They won me out wholeheartedly.That was once again, my life chose to walk across the stereotype.
Two things I love, Arts and social work. I combined them together. I intend to create arts that benefit society. This strong passion made me got accepted to XXX University, The most renowned institute of Arts and Design of Thailand.And finally rewarded an outstanding achievement grant at my freshman year.
Enrolling in communities both outside and inside the University gives me opportunities of volunteering. I had beed playing many tiny roles,from giving education to aboriginal children to a work such like bailing a group of Somalian internee.Working in this field unveiled me the injustices of the world. Distinctions shouldn't occur between humans.This intense feeling of disagreement motivates me even more stronger to use my talents as a campaign media to illuminate social awareness to people.Arts can make a huge effect on people's inclination.The earth is following through the mischiefs that covered by arts. But I will work to restore it, I want to be an inspiration to others continue to work in this way as it was someone had inspired me.
High quality with international standard media could be more widely effective. To develop to that point, Higher education became an issue.I hope to gain my Master degree in a country that provides high quality in Visual Communication Design and have already began to collect information about the scholarships. I've already set up the steps to become appropriate with those grants, improving in experiences and skills. And As you can see apparently, my English can not gain any TOELF/IELT score that good enough to pursue my abroad education anywhere.
Studying abroad without any financial support is like a dream to me. A month expenses in Canada includes tuition, accommodation and air tickets etc. costs almost ten times I spend in Bangkok.But occasionally,this scholarship lights me hope of opportunity to study English in a country where the language is mainly spoken and provided high quality education.This opportunity could help me enlarge my experiences in English, vision and life.Exchanging ideas with people from around the world also one of the rare worthiest opportunity. I want to learn the diversity of viewpoints from every nations.
To be successful in English, real using is an essential issue which learning in Thailand can not be fulfilled with.This opportunity will shorten distance between me and my dream, and someday few years after,I will be standing at the point that my arms were out holding that dream.
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8 พ.ย. 54 01:54:28
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