ความคิดเห็นที่ 2
It was first day of the mid-year exams, therefore I
> > > finished school a little earlier, I called him,
> > > "Hey, I finished school a little earlier today,
> > > would you come by and pick me up?"
> > > "Alright, give me 5 minutes."
> > >
> > > "5 minutes? But my school is just beside your
> > > house."
> > > "I need to get ready." He replied.
> > > "Alright, make it fast then." I put down the phone
> > >
> > > 2pm in the afternoon, the sun is extremely hot, I
> > > stood under a shaded tree and fan myself.
> > > Although it doesn't make much of a difference, it
> > > still felt better that I fanned.
> > > 5 minutes have passed, he's has not shown up, I was
> > > a little unhappy while looking at my watch,
> > > 10 minutes and he's still not here....Couldn't be
> > > that he met with an accident?
> > >
> > > 15 minutes passed, he finally shown up.
> > > "Why are you so late?"
> > > He wasn't even a little bothered, "Nahz, was
> > > watching TV."
> > > "What?! TV?! Why don't you sleep, bathe and eat
> > > before you come down then?"
> > >
> > > I haven't got anything else to say for that, didn't
> > > take the helmet he handed me
> > > but stood there and stared at him.
> > >
> > > "Sorry."
> > > This was the first time he said sorry to me...
> > > He has always been an egoistical person and has
> > > never once apologise to a girl.
> > > I looked at him, Alright, took the helmet and let
> > > him sent me home.
> > >
> > > He is always acting like this, no explanations, no
> > > frictions, no quarrels.
> > > The only thing he does is to apologise but to me,
> > > somethings cannot be settled with a sorry.
> > > I would never go on asking after everytime he
> > > apologise.
> > > He told me, that was the first time he said sorry to
> > > a girl.
> > >
> > > Although it take courage to admit mistakes, he never
> > > once correct his mistakes.
> > > Saying sorry became a word to shut me up instead.
> > > Tears flowed down my cheek on the 59th time he
> > > apologised.
> > > I dropped my head and replied, "You don't ever need
> > > to say sorry to me again."
> > > If you can't change, then don't let me keep giving
> > > you chances again and again hoping and believing
> > > that you would change each time.
> > > He held me lightly, and said the 60th sorry.
> > >
> > > Even then, he did not change, and there was no
> > > explanation whatsoever.
> > > I began to worry if there is something he is keeping
> > > from me.
> > > "What's wrong with you these few days?" I asked
> > > "Nothing."
> > > "Then why are you acting so strange?"
> > > "I am not." He replied.
> > > "What can you say other than this answer?
> > > Do you know I'm very woried, very insecure,
> > > do you treat me as your girlfriend?"
> > > "I'm sorry..."
> > > "I don't want to hear you say sorry again."
> > > I put down the phone and he did not call back.
> > > He doesn't even care about me. Maybe we should...
> > > break up.
> > > This is the 99th time he said sorry...
> > >
> > > From that day onwards, I never once called him or
> > > went to look for him.
> > > At times I get an anonymous phone call, but
> > > everytime I said Hello,
> > > the line went dead.
> > > I assume it's a call from him, but why don't he
> > > speak up?
> > >
> > > After one month have passed, I couldn't contain the
> > > feelings I still have for him anymore
> > > and went to his school to find him.
> > > I went outside his classroom and looked around but
> > > there was no sign of him.
> > >
> > > "Excuse me, is Jason here today? I asked his
> > > classmates.
> > > "Jason?? I'm afraid he already stopped schooling."
> > > "Huh? Why? When was that?"
> > > "Oh, He hasn't been in school for a month already."
> > > "Erms..okay, thanks."
> > > One month....not in school for one month...why is
> > > that so? I stumbled home.
> > >
> > > I called his hp, "Sorry the caller is currently
> > > unavailable, please leave your message after the
> > > beep.... "
> > > I put down the phone, and called his house next, but
> > > there was no answer.
> > > How can it be? The whole family migrated??
> > >
> > > It seems as though he had disappeared from the
> > > surface of the earth without leaving a single trace.
> > >
> > > I couldn't locate him at all..
> > > Just as I was feeling distraughted, the phone
> > > suddenly rang,
> > > it was my friend and also one of his buddies.
> > > "Hey, what have you been doing? Jason is in
> > > hospital."
> > > "HUH? REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED?? My mind went blank.
> > >
> > > "Oh he is in xx hospital, the one you warded last
> > > time."
> > > "I'll be right there." and hung up.
> > > I used the fastest speed my legs could carry and
> > > when I reached the hospital I saw that his parents
> > > were there.
> > > I asked them for the ward and bed number and flew
> > > across the hall.
> > >
> > > He was lying on bed, looking at me, not saying a
> > > word, not moving a muscle.
> > > "Hey, what happened to you? Why didn't you contact
> > > me?"
> > > He did not answer, and used the same stare on me
> > > again.
> > > "Come on answer me...why don't you speak?"
> > > A tear flowed down the side of his eye, and it
> > > looked as though
> > > he used the greatest amount of strength that he
> > > could master to say...
> > > "I'm...sorry..."
> > > After that, his eyes went shut.
> > >
> > > "Hey, don't fool around please...why say sorry to
> > > me?"
> > > "Don't say sorry to me....please wake up....answer
> > > me please."
> > > I wept and collapse on the side of his bed, pulling
> > > his shirt I cried...
> > >
> > > "Why do you have to apologise? Why don't you give me
> > > an explanation instead? "
> > > "I won't forgive you, wake up, saying sorry is no
> > > use..."
> > > "If you don't wake up I'll never ever forgive you in
> > > this lifetime, please... I beg of you..open your
> > > eyes...."
> > > That was the 100th sorry.
> > >
> > > A group of medical staff, doctors, nurses pulled me
> > > away and tried to revive him.
> > > I had no strength to stand up...
> > > My mind was in a blank.... Thing only thing I could
> > > see is a sea of darkness..
> > >
> > > He did not leave this world...I merely lost the
> > > chance to touch him anymore.
> > > He would appear in my dreams at times, telling me
> > > how he was doing.
> > > He's still accompaning me, still alive, in my heart.
> > > He would still laugh at my silliness, and call me
> > > his darling....just that...
> > > He never apologise to me anymore.
> > >
> > > After a month, his mom came to look for me, and
> > > handed me a box...
> > > inside was 100 photographs, each one with a story
> > > behind it..those reasons why he made me angry.
> > >
> > > "Dear, the first time, I did not purposely arrive
> > > late to pick you up.
> > > I know this excuse is really lame, but I didn't have
> > > the heart to tell you the truth then,
> > > Before I stepped out of the house, I felt a pain in
> > > my chest, but I want to make it a point to meet you,
> > > please forgive me.
> > >
> > > The second time, my dear, I...
> > > The third time, my dear, I...
> > > The 100th time, my dear, I didn't mean to leave you
> > > alone in this world, I really dun...
> > > It had to be so because God did not give me the
> > > chance to say I Love You for this lifetime of mine,
> > > and to put the ring on your finger....
> > > You are the first girl I apologised to
> > > and also the first girl I want to be with for the
> > > rest of my life...
> > >
> > > Forgive me for not able to bring you happiness but I
> > > have become your angel, always looking out for
> > > you...
> > > Watching over you while you seek your happiness...
> > > Promise me...don't shed a tear...
> > > I don't want to see you weep like this for me, I
> > > Love You ~ Jason
> > >
> > > How can I not cry? What you said was just too
> > > impossible.
> > >
> > > The last photograph was him in the hospital,
> > > Although he was skinny, the smile on his face was
> > > bright as ever.
> > > His face was white but yet he tried his best to give
> > > his last smile on the last photo, the 100th.
> > > At the time when he needed me the most, I wasn't
> > > with him.
> > >
> > >
> > > I'm sorry.
> > > I held the photo tightly and cried for us....
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --- I guess everything comes with a reason...but
> > > what's the point of driving it out of someone if
> > > it's something you don't want to hear in the first
> > > place?
> > > "I want the truth" ---so easy to say but so
> > > difficult to accept. ---
> > >
> > >
> >
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8 ต.ค. 46 10:37:08
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