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    WORLD CUP RULES
    FOR: WIVES, PARTNERS & GIRLFRIENDS.

    Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend,

    1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do  this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored.  DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

    2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it  

    3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without any distractions. If you decide  to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put your clothes on right after  because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or  look after you during the World Cup month.

    4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill  of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to  listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that  just fell on the floor....It won't happen.

    5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge  at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make  any funny faces at my friends when they come over to watch the games. In  return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they  replay a good game that I missed during the day.

    6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, itâ?Ts only a game", or "don't  worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make  me more upset and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement"  will only lead to a break up or divorce.

    7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time  scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"
    game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

    8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

    9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties  or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
    a) I will not go,
    b) I will not go, and
    c) I will not go.

    10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

    11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important  as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have  already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all  watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

    12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, FA  Cup, etc.

    Thank you for your cooperation

    จากคุณ : jobuakwan - [ 18 พ.ค. 49 11:44:03 ]

 
 

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