ความคิดเห็นที่ 1 2004 Kurt Snibbe for ESPN.com Oh, how things might have been different for Tom Brady. Spurred on by his parents, Brady tries to put his college degree to use -- he graduated with honors from Michigan -- and get a job in the real world. But Brady's degree was in organizational studies, one of those majors that may sound interesting to a freshman football player hoping to go to the NFL, but has no real practical application. Door after door slams in his face, as prospective employers are turned off by his quasi-major and the almost four-year gap in his employment record since college. With no job, Brady spends his days in his parents' basement, watching hours upon hours of movies. One day, he sees the Al Pacino, Colin Farrell and Bridget Moynahan in "The Recruit" on HBO. He develops an insane crush on Moynahan, telling friends: "I feel like we were meant for each other." He starts writing Moynahan letters each day and eventually drives to Los Angeles to profess his love outside of her house. He is arrested and has a restraining order placed on him. Meanwhile, Bledsoe and the Patriots win their third Super Bowl title. The Boston Globe runs a depressing "where are they know?" feature story on Brady. But Brady receives no sympathy or charity from Patriots fans because he is pictured wearing a Yankees cap. 2005 Brady's behavior gets more erratic. He begins cruising past his former high school in a Trans Am while wearing his old letter jacket. He takes up with several girls who had crushes on him back in high school, calls each of them "Bridget" and impregnates nine of them. He also develops a weird relationship with a small goat. The pair goes everywhere together. With his parents at their wits end and unwilling to bear the burden of raising their son's nine illegitimate children, Brady is thrown out of his boyhood home. Before he leaves, he nabs his mother's Victoria's Secret catalog out of the mail. On the cover is a model named of Gisele Bundchen. Brady instantly forgets his all-consuming crush on Moynahan and gives his heart over to the Brazilian beauty. He moves in with fellow down-on-his-luck, ex-Michigan quarterback Drew Henson and begins plotting how he will woo Bundchen. 2006 Brady figures the only way to win Bundchen's heart is to become the famous athlete he always wanted to be. His football career long over, he decides to give baseball another go. He attended the same Bay Area high school as Barry Bonds and was a 1995 draft pick of the Montreal Expos. So Brady calls his old high school coach and asks him to put him in contact with Bonds. The two speak, and Bonds puts Brady in touch with BALCO. Brady quickly puts on 70 pounds of muscle. But the added bulk and more than 10 years away from the game leave him hopelessly behind professional-quality fastballs. The Nationals end his tryout less than 15 minutes after it begins. Now more dejected than ever, he resorts to the same tactics to woo Bundchen that he tried with Moynahan. They are met with the same result: an arrest and a restraining order. Brady does find himself in the 2006 edition of People magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People" issue. He's not among the 50 people, though. He is the subject of an article about a former football player who has been arrested for stalking two different female celebrities. 2007 The year begins worse than ever for Brady. Both broke, Henson and Brady are evicted from their apartment. The child support payments are stacking up. Hungry and desperate, Brady kills and eats his beloved goat companion. Worst of all, his once handsome looks are long gone. Balding, BALCO and building stress have left him a horrid, muscled monster. But then he gets a break. Federal investigators, desperate to bring down Bonds, contact Brady to testify against his fellow high school alum. Then the Spygate story breaks during a 19-0 season by New England, a team that goes undefeated and wins the Super Bowl for Bledsoe in his final season. Sen. Arlen Specter contacts Brady about his knowledge of possible cheating by Belichick. Feeling no loyalty to the team that cut him when he felt he had so much promise, Brady blows the whistle on New England's cheating against the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI . Brady single-handedly topples two of America's biggest sports villains -- Bonds and Belichick -- and becomes the national hero he was always destined to be. He accepts the feds' offer to join the witness-protection program and their offer of plastic surgery to change his appearance. His horrid visage is changed to mirror that of the epitome of male handsomeness at the time. He immediately woos Bundchen and Moynahan and lives happily ever after. DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He is also a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book – "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck" – is on sale now. จากคุณ : I am เตียบ่อกี้ - [ 15 ก.พ. 51 00:11:05 ]