ความคิดเห็นที่ 75
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Kitty tells her own story
Breaking the walls between people
I was born in a healthy and happy family, deeped loved by parents and siblings. My parents got married early and they did not know how to bring up children, so my siblings and I we brought up by grandparents. Before my sisterกฆs birth, I was the little princess in family, extremely indulged and spoilt. After getting into school, as my appearance was lovely, teachers and fellow students loved me very much and I got tonnes of friends. Love came so easily, so I was extremely egoistic, not knowing how to treasure and how to give. No matter how much I was loved in family, I still wanted to get the attention and love from others.
Just after I entered the showbiz, I got the chance to be main characters, my performing chance came one after one. I did not care even if I was late, as someone will find an excuse for me. I also thought: my work was busy, I didnกฆt sleep enough, whatกฆs the problem of being late? I became more and more arrogant.
The showbiz seems attracting, TV star seem like an enviable job, but all of us know the truth behind it. We are always wearing masks to protect ourselves, and avoid close communication with other people. I did not pay attention to other people, rejected many interviews, therefore there were not much news about me. Actually, I had a lot of bad experience with the press. When being interview, if your answer is not that surprising, the reporters will not write about it. Sometimes they will focus on one or two sentences and make their own story. As time went by, I have totally lost confidence with other people, lest I should be betrayed. Lacking of sense of security, I enclosed myself in my own world. Everyday when I go to work, I just worked, deliberately portrayed a กงcoldกจ image, built a thick wall around myself, not wanting to talk to other people, and have no response to how other people did.
The lack of sense of security was even more obvious in family. No matter how much my family member loved me, I was not satisfied. I was just like a princess, asking for their love and endlessly. The more they loved me, the more I wanted to challenge them, to see if they can give more. I was trying to squeeze the last drop of their love.
Regarding relationships, I thought the men who courted me should love me, they should do everything for me. I did not think about treasuring their love, and I had not ever thought about responding or giving. Whenever they left me, I complaint and hated them, but I have never thought about where the problem is.
I have been working in the showbiz for more than 10 years, the character I acted are mostly sad ones, the clever and brave Chiu Ming (of HSDS) was only one of the few exceptions. Therefore, my whole image to the audience was sad. In the first few years, I deliberately portrayed a กงcoldกจ image, so other people misunderstood me to be arrogant. In fact, I was lonely and sad.
Thinking about the past, the old me was like a happy girl who didnกฆt know she was blessed. Thanks to God, because of knowing him, I know what กงloveกจ is. After saving by Godกฆs, I understood that Jesusกฆ love in giving his life, and I knew that how arrogant and selfish I was. His love melted my coldness, my pride, filled me with joy and peace. Now I am willing to open myself, treat everyone around me with love and sincerity. I am willing to share my experience and testimony with other people, and willing to share the good news with others.
I would like to share a treasurable experience with all of you:
In my early career, Sheren Tang was one of my best friends, we share everything just like sister. In 1986, both we acted in HSDS, we were enemy in the series. Surprisingly, in the reality, best friends became enemy too. When I reflected on that, it was pride and jealousy that made us not able to accept the others. We talked badly about each other at the back, but pretended to be good friends in front of the press. Actually, whenever I saw her, I became angry and tried to hide myself. Whatever she had used, I would not use. I thought I was princess and star, always flattered by the press, and thought I was great. One friend was not that important to me, when we cannot get along well, then we did not need to be friends.
Our relationship has been freezed for 12 years. Although we have cooperated in a certain series, met in some large shows, we were just like strangers. Even when I read about her in the press, I did not feel interested. We were sad about it, but were not able to say กงsorryกจ to each other.
1998, we met in a gathering of the กงartist homeกจ (a Christian fellowship for HK artists). After that, amazingly, we gazed at each others, then we walked near, embraced and cried. Thanks to God that He melted our cold hearts with his love, shone through the darkness in our heart with the light of truth, and rebuilt our relationship. The moment was beautiful, sincere and touching! God gave us the energy to renew our heart. Old things has passed, we became new! Honestly, while forgiving others, we were released and got freedom again, it is the best thing on earth!
Thanks for Godกฆs grace that grant me real freedom!
http://forums.cinple.net/kittylai/index.cgi?read=1944
จากคุณ :
Anson 
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2 ส.ค. 47 00:58:02
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